What Dating Is Like for a Girl with PCOS

What Dating Is Like for a Girl with PCOS

I’m pretty good at the dating game. I’m pretty social and like to go out. And no, it’s actually not that hard for me to meet guys. And yet, whenever I go on a date, even if it goes well, I’m left uneasy and worried. No, I don’t worry whether he likes me or whether he’ll call, I worry about how or when to tell him about a chronic condition I and many other women struggle with and how he’ll react. I have polycystic ovary syndrome (PCOS) and this is how it affects my dating life.

PCOS and Dating

Polycystic Ovary syndrome affects around one in ten women, causes hormonal imbalance, irregular periods, fertility problems and other embarrassing symptoms like acne and unwanted body hair. You look and me and you see a pretty girl, you talk to me you think I’m fun and easy going, but what you don’t know about me is how much I struggle with my PCOS symptoms sometimes.

PCOS makes it hard for me to open up to a guy. I meet someone I like and I immediately think about how I might want to start a family someday and how hard it can be for women with my condition to conceive. And I think about what will happen, if he finds out about my struggles with body hair and my daily shaving ritual. Will he think I’m gros? Weird? When I get intimate with a guy, I wonder if he can tell. I wonder, if he can feel the stubbles on my chin or thighs and whether it turns him off. It’s hard for me to put myself out there, to really commit to get past that third date and risk that things could get more serious.

PCOS and Relationships

At this point in my life I’m looking for more than just a hook-up. I want to fall in love, have a relationship and start a family someday. If things get serious, I feel like the guy deserves to know. I have a healthy lifestyle, stay active and do my best to manage the condition. I do well. Yet I’m worried about not being able to get pregnant someday, gaining weight or eventually getting hairy like chewbacca! Yes, I think the guy I’m with needs to know, what he’s getting himself into, but it’s so hard to open up. The fear of rejection is just to real for me.

I’ve read every article there is to read about dating with hirsutism, relationships and PCOS and constantly see pictures of happy women with PCOS, who just got pregnant in various online support groups. I am happy for them, but also somewhat triggered, as I’m not sure whether I will ever have that great relationship and that experience of being a mum. And that thought makes me sad.

Dear Future Boyfriend…

Yes, PCOS brings me down sometimes, but no, I have not given up on love! I think that I will find that guy someday, who accepts me for who I am and loves me, although it can be difficult at times. If you’re my future boyfriend reading this, know that girls with PCOS can be happy, thriving and.. well… child bearing just like any other woman out there. We just might need a little more love and understanding sometimes.

Tips for Dating a Girl with PCOS

If you’re dating a girl with PCOS and want to know how to best support her my top tips are as follows:

  • Learn about the condition and symptoms, so you can help your partner as she makes decisions about her treatment.
  • PCOS affects the hormones and can make women a little irritable at times. Be patient!
  • Help your partner live a healthy and active life. It will benefit you both!
  • Understand, that intimacy (both physical and emotional) is hard for her sometimes and be understanding.
  • If you’re looking to start a family, know that it can be a little harder. Don’t blame her and make her feel like it’s her fault.
  • Let her know you love her and she will always be beautiful to you.


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